Whether you’re a new mom or the leader of a pint-sized brigade, it’s hard keeping up with all the do’s and don’ts of motherhood. Here are the 10 biggest mistakes parents make and how to avoid them…
We like to think of ourselves as the best moms – ever. But even when we think we’re doing everything right, we’re not. Here are 10 of the biggest mistakes made by savvy moms and first-time moms alike:
1. Sharing a bed with baby.
Bonding, breast-feeding, or 2 a.m. bottles and diaper changes are much easier when Junior is next to you at night.
But you may be putting your child at risk.
Bed-sharing is becoming more common in the U.S.: The number of babies who cuddle with their parents at night more than doubled (from 5.5% in 1993 to 12.8% in 2000), according to the National Infant Sleep Position Study.
Infants who sleep in their parents’ beds, however, are 40 times more likely to suffocate than those who don’t, according to a 2003 St. Louis University study.
Why? Babies may be smothered by the bedding, a parent rolling on top of them, or getting trapped between the mattress and the wall, headboard and/or footboard.
One way to co-sleep safely (especially during baby’s first year) and be a better parent is to park the crib or bassinet next to your bed. Make sure it has a firm mattress with a fitted sheet but no other bedding. No pillows or stuffed animals – they’re potential hazards.
Don’t allow loose blankets either, because they can easily cover the baby’s face. Instead, use warm sleep sacks, with holes for head and arms.
And of course, always put infants to sleep on their backs to reduce the risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS).
2. Putting your child to bed with milk or juice.
This is the perfect setup — for cavities, says Michael Ignelzi, a Greensboro, N.C., dentist and orthodontist and spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatric Dentistry.
When kids sip milk or juice all day long or even just at night, cavity-causing bacteria in the mouth convert the beverages’ sugars into tooth-decaying acid.
How serious can it be? Recently, Ignelzi put four crowns into a 23-month-old boy’s mouth. The toddler had been drinking milk every night for his entire life, he says.
“The milk sugars had rotted his top front baby teeth down to the nubs.”
So limit milk and juice to meal or snack times because then “you have a lot of salivary flow, which neutralizes the acid,” Ignelzi explains.
Between meals and at night, there’s not a lot of saliva, and “the acid attacks for hours.”
3. Buying second-hand toys or baby furniture.
In a down economy, who could blame a mom for trying to save a few bucks by picking up gently used items at a garage sale or on Craigslist?
But before you snap up that bargain, check Recalls.gov. This government-based clearinghouse for product recalls can tell you if the toy you’re eyeing is hazardous.
Manufacturers get a dismal return on many recalled children’s products.
“Most recalled products are still out there, and people are unaware that the product their child is using is potentially lethal,” says Gary Smith, M.D., director of the Center for Injury Research and Policy at Nationwide Children’s Hospital in Columbus, Ohio.
4. Showing your child “smart baby” DVDs.
Do you feel less guilty and maybe even think you're being a better parent by letting your tot watch Brainy Baby and Baby Einstein DVDs? It’s OK, you rationalize, because the programs give kids a leg up on education.
That’s not what research shows.
Instead of boosting Susie’s language skills, the programs seem to hinder them. For every hour babies spent watching such educational DVDs, they knew 6-8 fewer words than babies who didn’t view them, according to a 2007 University of Washington study.
Another 2009 UW study found that when the TV is on, even in the background, parents interact less with their children, which also holds back language development. In fact, for every hour the TV is on, babies hear about 7% fewer words.
So forget the DVDs and turn the boob tube off.
Invest in old-fashioned building blocks instead. Another 2007 UW study found that toddlers who play with blocks have 15% bigger vocabularies than kids who don’t.
5. Putting kids in the basket of a shopping cart.
Supermarket shopping carts don’t look dangerous. But each year about 20,000 kids end up in emergency rooms because they tip over or fall out.
“The basket is absolutely the worst place” for a child to ride, Smith says. “A kid’s center of gravity is up around the chest and when they reach for something on a shelf as you’re passing by, they just go over the top.”
A safer way to shop with your youngster? Choose a bulky, tough-to-steer cart, preferably one with a seating space low to the ground. They’re less likely to topple and a child is closer to the floor in a fall.
6. Sharing utensils with your child.
There isn’t a mom who hasn’t dipped a spoon into hot oatmeal to test the temperature, then used that same spoon to feed her tot.
Or who hasn’t scooped up a dropped pacifier, given it a quick lick to “clean” it and then popped it back in Janie’s mouth?
Not so fast. These are perfect ways to pass the cavity-causing bacteria (and other germs) in your mouth to your baby, says dentist Ignelzi.
A cleaner idea: Taste with one spoon and feed with another. And wash off or use a wipe to clean pacifiers.
7. Delaying or avoiding vaccines.
Some parents — like celebrity Jenny McCarthy — refuse to give their children vaccines for measles, mumps and rubella (MMR) because they believe they cause autism.
Another trend is ignoring the vaccine schedule recommended by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention and using an “alternative” spaced-out timetable instead. The claim? It’s safer.
Actually, it’s a life-threatening mistake.
Delaying vaccines leaves your child open to “serious, preventable diseases at the most vulnerable time in their lives, in infancy,” warns Christopher Tolcher, M.D., an assistant clinical professor of pediatrics at UCLA and a spokesman for the American Academy of Pediatrics.
For starters, skipping the MMR won’t prevent autism, says Paul Offit, M.D., chief of infectious diseases at Children’s Hospital of Philadelphia and author of Autism’s False Prophets: Bad Science, Risky Medicine and the Search for a Cure (Columbia University Press). Studies of thousands of children have shown that they can develop autism whether or not they’re vaccinated.
Second, refusing the MMR vaccination increases the odds that a child will get measles — still a leading killer of kids worldwide — by up to 35 times.
In 2008, when the U.S. experienced its largest measles outbreak in a decade, nearly half the 131 sickened kids were unvaccinated.
Do you worry that giving too many vaccines at once taxes a baby’s still-developing immune system?
That fear isn't supported by science, Tolcher says.
“What babies get in the vaccines pales in comparison to the amount of microorganisms and environmental contaminants that go into their mouths every hour of the day.”
8. Leaving your child alone in the car “just for a minute.”
Your toddler just fell asleep in the car and you have to pick up milk before you go home. You’ll be fast, you think. What’s the harm?
It’s more dangerous than you think. About 36 young children die each year because they were left alone in a hot car. In about 18% of cases, the child was intentionally left behind while the parent ran an errand.
“People don’t realize how quickly a car heats up,” Smith says. Even on a mild day, the temperature inside a parked car can jump 19 degrees above the outside air is — in just 10 minutes.
“Within 20 minutes, it’s like an oven,” he says.
Because their bodies heat up about three to five times faster than adults’, it doesn’t take long for an infant or toddler to get heatstroke. And that can be fatal.
9. Skipping helmets on tricycles rides.
A fall from three to four feet can cause serious injury, even if the child isn’t pedaling.
“Children on wheels above a hard surface need to wear a helmet,” Smith says. “It doesn’t matter if it’s four wheels, three wheels or two wheels.”
Need another reason to insist on the helmet? It can be habit-forming.
Kids who wear helmets when they’re pedaling a trike are more likely to wear them when they’re older and riding bikes or doing tricks on a skateboard or scooter.
“It’s like wearing a seatbelt in the car,” Smith says. “You start early and consistently enforce the behavior.”
10. Leaving your child alone in the bath or shower.
About 100 children under 5 years old drown each year in the bathtub, usually because a parent or babysitter steps away for a few minutes.
“Young children need to have constant supervision in and around water. Period,” Smith says. “You should be able to reach out and touch them.”
Another hazard: slips and falls. New research from Smith’s center shows that more than 43,000 kids get hurt in bathtubs and showers each year.
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