How to Combat Compulsive Hoarding Tips for Clutter Control and More

Do you know someone who blames a messy home on being too busy or sentimental? She could have a more serious condition. Experts from A&E’s “Hoarders” offer tips to spot the warning signs of compulsive hoarding. Plus, get their clutter control tips for pack rats… Teri, a busy 47-year-old registered nurse, doesn’t fit the stereotype of a hoarder. She’s not a loner, adores her two children (ages 12 and 8) and doesn’t have a yard full of clutter. But inside Teri’s home, it’s a different story. Piles of children’s clothing, toys and books stretch to the ceiling. The kitchen lies buried under boxes and used cat litter. And cartons of 3-year-old milk curdle in the refrigerator. “We’re just messy,” she says. Many people are too busy to clean, and we all squirrel away items in closets and rooms we hope our friends and relatives won’t see. Even when we have everything we need, our consumer-driven culture rewards us for shopping with coupons and discounts – so we buy even more. What makes Teri different is that she’s a secret hoarder, just like 1 in 20 Americans, according to the International Obsessive Compulsive Disorder Foundation (IOCDF). Her compulsion is to shop and collect items, leaving her family in danger of being buried by her belongings. People with the disorder “acquire [so much], they can’t use things as they’re intended,” explains Robin Zasio, Psy. D., LCSW, who counsels Teri and others like her on the A&E documentary series “Hoarders." Besides helping hoarders understand their need for possessions, treatment often involves purging their homes of belongings that are creating a health hazard. Professional organizer Geralin Thomas also appears on “Hoarders” and works with clients in the Raleigh-Durham, N.C., area. She helps both hoarders and busy moms decide which items to keep and which to toss. “I’m a mom of two, so I know how that feels,” Thomas says. “You’re attaching symbolism and meaning to these things. When you still have your son’s smocked baby clothes and he’s now 6'4", you just need permission to let things go.” So how do you know the difference between sentimentality and dysfunction? Here are 6 telltale signs: 1. Hoarders have difficulty or are unable to get rid of furniture, clothing, toys or other items. “They're scared,” Zasio explains. “They think, What if I give this up and can't get it back? What if I need this? What if I can't tolerate the anxiety?” 2. Large amounts of clutter in the office or at home make it difficult to use furniture or appliances, or move around easily. Hoarders often can’t get to their kitchen counters or beds because of overflowing piles of stuff, and will even choose an extreme alternative – sleeping in a recliner because the bed is covered with papers. 3. Hoarders consistently lose important items like money, school permission slips or medical forms. “Papers don’t get signed and go back to school,” Thomas says. “Kids’ vaccinations don’t get done. There’s no grocery list, and coupons are expired.” 4. They feel overwhelmed by possessions that have “taken over” the house or workspace. “They might have 16 bottles of ketchup and all of them are rotten or expired,” Thomas says. Or they drop items wherever it’s most convenient, leaving food on the coffee table or in the bathroom. 5. Hoarders excuse their purchases by saying they’re buying things because they’re a bargain or to stock up. There’s a difference between getting a good deal at a two-for-one sale and hoarding items you don’t need. A hoarder might think, Oh my gosh, I only need one pair of gloves, but four for $10 is a better deal, according to Zasio. "The reality is you're buying four pairs of gloves. Are you really going to use them all? Most people aren’t.” 6. They avoid inviting family or friends home due to shame or embarrassment. Hoarders don’t believe they can get their belongings under control but are aware enough of their problem not to let others into their homes, Zasio says. Profile of a Hoarder It might be easy to label a hoarder as lazy or sloppy, but Thomas and Zasio stress that the condition isn’t an indication of how caring, clean or attentive a person is. “Compulsive hoarding doesn't discriminate,” Zasio says. “You've got people who are doing fine in their work and can have relationships. I went to a client’s home two days ago and she looks great, does well in her job, but [her house stank of cat feces].” A lot of them, in fact, are perfectionists, Zasio says. “They think of themselves as collectors and want to have every piece.” And they not only focus on their own wants, Thomas adds. “They buy gifts but never give them away,” she says. Objects they find attractive hold a particular appeal, according to Thomas. She had a client who collected Tiffany shopping bags with the goal of creating a Tiffany-themed guest bedroom. Instead, the bags languished in a pile and were soiled by the family’s cat. What You Can Do If someone you know has a hoarding problem, encourage them to seek treatment from a licensed therapist. If you need help persuading them, suggest they visit the IOCDF’s hoarding website and fill out the online questionnaires. In treatment, which can take anywhere from six months to a year, hoarders are taught techniques to manage their impulses. They’re also given homework assignments to learn how to clear out their homes, “such as removing six items out of the fridge every day until I see them next,” Zasio says. The IOCDF also offers ways friends and family can help: Show respect. Acknowledge that the person has a right to make decisions at his or her own pace. Have sympathy. Understand that everyone has some attachment to things they own. Try to understand the importance of the items. Encourage. Come up with ideas to make the home safer, such as moving clutter from doorways and halls. Team-build. Don’t argue about whether to keep or discard an item; instead, find out what will help motivate the person to discard or organize. Reflect. Help the person recognize that hoarding interferes with goals or values they might hold. For example, by de-cluttering a home, the person may host social gatherings and have a richer personal life. Ask. To develop trust, never throw anything away without asking permission. Organizing Techniques Without proper therapy, it’s hard for hoarders to establish a cleaning routine. But whether you’re a hoarder in treatment or just overwhelmed by your belongings, here are techniques Thomas recommends to control clutter: The 30-day rule: Make an agreement with your family that over the next 30 days, you won't bring anything new into the house except food. Clean in sections: When straightening up, imagine the room divided by the numbers on a clock. Start at the top, and clear each section in 5- or 15-minute increments, then move on to the next. Pick a theme: Each day, select something you have strewn around the house – such as clothes hangers or coffee mugs – and collect as many of those items as you can in a container. When you’re done, clean them and either put them away or box them for donation. The timeliness test: When cleaning out a closet, ask yourself: If I were going shopping today, would I put this on my shopping list? If the answer is no, get rid of it. Stick to your current style: When going through old clothes, ask yourself, Does this represent the person I am today? Or invite a friend over and ask, “If I walked in wearing this, what would you say?” If the answer is negative, get rid of the item. For more on Geralin Thomas, visit her website, Metropolitan Organizing. For more on A&E’s “Hoarders,” visit www.aetv.com/hoarders. Are You a Pack Rat? Collecting things can be a harmless habit, but compulsive hoarding is a serious disorder.