Being a family caregiver for someone with Alzheimer’s disease often means suffering sleep deprivation, isolation and constant worry. But caregivers deserve time off for good behavior – and a life of their own – to protect their own health. Here are expert tips for tending to a loved one without losing yourself…
Giving Alzheimer’s support isn't like caring for those with other conditions – even life-threatening illnesses such as cancer or heart disease.
“You don’t have that glimmer of hope associated with other diseases,” says Marge Dean, a geriatric nurse practitioner at Texas Tech Health Sciences Center Medical and Nursing School in Amarillo. “The person is slipping away, and that can create a lot of caregiver stress.”
Tending to someone who requires constant supervision can cause physical and mental fatigue, adds Pamela Braun, a licensed clinical social worker at Geriatric Assessment, Management & Solutions in Sun City, Ariz., who specializes in families with Alzheimer’s disease.
“Putting the other person first leads caregivers to ignore their own needs,” she says. “And those who don’t have outside interests or a balance in their life are at a greater risk for depression.”
That’s why experts say it’s just as important to take care of yourself as it is to give Alzheimer’s support to a loved one.
Here are 8 tips to help you stay healthy.
1. Recognize stress signs.
It would be uncommon not to experience Alzheimer’s caregiver stress.
“You’re watching a person you cherish slowly fade away,” Braun says. “That’s tough for anyone to come to terms with, let alone the person responsible for making the food and scheduling doctor visits.”
Worrying about your loved one getting disoriented, wandering away or falling – which happens with some types of dementia – is another common stressor, Braun says.
But when you’re providing Alzheimer’s support, it can be hard to make time for yourself. As a result, all that stress may manifest itself in an emergency room visit, hospitalization, depression, anxiety or exhaustion.
How do you know when you’re about to overload? Here are signs to watch for, according to Rebecca Axline, LCSW, a clinical social worker with the Methodist Neurological Institute in Houston, Texas:
Inability to concentrate
Depressed mood
Irritability or moodiness, crying easily
Anxiety
Changes in sleep and/or eating patterns
Fatigue
Increased feelings of anger or guilt
Medical/physical problems
If you’re experiencing these symptoms, talk to your doctor. And read on for ways to keep stress under control.
2. Get social.
Making time to participate in your favorite activities with friends or family members is a great way to relieve Alzheimer’s caregiver stress.
“Being able to talk to other people about something outside of the world of Alzheimer’s disease is very important to maintain a sense of balance in your life,” Braun says.
By having other interests and outlets, you’ll reduce the odds that you’ll become resentful about most of your time being taken up with Alzheimer’s support.
So go to lunch with a friend, join a women's group or book club, engage in a hobby, take a class or even read in the bathtub. They can all recharge your mental and emotional batteries, says Dean.
If you can’t leave the house, ask a neighbor or friend to come by for lunch or to watch a favorite TV show together.
3. Rest up.
Lack of sleep is common for family caregivers.
“It’s hard for caregivers to ‘turn off’ and unwind in order to fall sound asleep,” says Axline. And if you do, the stress of worrying about your loved one’s health and safety can make you wake up during the night.
Cutting back on caffeine during the day can help you get a good night's sleep, says registered and licensed dietitian Janet Bond Brill, Ph.D.
“Limit yourself to one cup of caffeinated coffee or tea a day,” she says. “And make sure you have it at least four hours before going to bed, so it doesn’t keep you up.”
For a warm nighttime drink, try chamomile tea. It can help you fall asleep after a stressful day, Brill says.
4. Eat right.
Many caregivers fret over meals for their loved one but forget to focus on their own nutrition.
But “a healthy diet is important to keep your body and mind healthy and energized,” Dean says. Without it, you’ll have a harder time taking care of yourself and your loved one.
If you don’t have time to prepare healthy meals, check with your local chapter of Meals on Wheels or church groups to see if they offer meals for patients with Alzheimer’s disease and their caregivers.
And don’t be afraid to ask for help in the kitchen.
“It’s heroic to ask a neighbor, friend or family member to make a meal now and then,” Braun says.
5. See your doctor regularly.
Family caregivers often don’t take care of their own mental and physical health, says Dean.
“I’ve seen many caregivers neglect their own medical needs, including delaying cardiac surgery,” Braun adds. “Caregivers can become hospitalized for problems including depression, anxiety, gastrointestinal issues, strokes and heart attacks.”
But just as you wouldn’t let your loved one skip a check-up, you need to have regular doctor’s visits and take any prescribed medications.
Just like they say on airplanes, “put on your own oxygen mask before that of your loved one,” Axline says.
6. Take a break.
Build in breaks for yourself by asking others to help out – as soon as the Alzheimer’s disease diagnosis is made, if possible. That way, your loved one isn’t solely dependent on you and is comfortable with other caregivers from the beginning.
“There’s no set number of breaks you should take, but every caregiver should take at least one 15- to 20-minute break daily,” Braun says. More, if possible.
7. Move around.
Regular physical activity doesn’t only help you keep your weight in check, it also relieves stress.
Being active gives you time to think, clear your mind and ward off the isolation and sadness that can develop out of day-to-day Alzheimer’s caregiver stress.
Also, “exercise is great for controlling blood pressure, blood sugar and maintaining respiratory and cardiac health,” Dean says.
Aim for at least 30 minutes of exercise, 3-5 times a week, says Dean.
So sign up for an exercise class, such as aerobics, tai chi and swimming, which are often available through your local parks and recreation department or community college.
Even a walk around your neighborhood helps, Braun says.
8. Ask for help.
Getting a helping hand is not a sign of weakness or failure. It takes strength, Braun says.
“You need a compassionate shoulder to lean on while caring for your loved one,” Dean adds.
Caregivers need a variety of supporters in their system, including health professionals, friends or family and paid caregivers, Axline says:
“All these people should be involved in the process of caring for you, while you care for your loved one,” Axline says.
Here are some resources to help you build your support network:
Leeza’s Place
The Alzheimer’s Association
The geriatrics department in a medical school or local hospital
A church support group for caregivers
Online support groups and classes are also available.
You can also lean on your loved one’s, so keep them informed about the challenges you’re facing.
“Work with the doctor on adjusting medications and treatment plan so you and your loved one can maintain your health and quality of life,” Dean says.
For more Alzheimer’s support information, visit our new Alzheimer’s Health Center.
How Much Do You Know About Alzheimer’s Disease?
More than 5 million Americans have Alzheimer’s disease, and that number could climb to 16 million by 2050. Women face a higher risk of developing it than men, and are also more likely to become caregivers.
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