How 'The Hunger Games' Movie Violence Might Harm Your Kid Top Psychologist Offers Parenting Tips

Is your preteen or teenager screaming to see “The Hunger Games”? What age is too young to watch this film – and how can you help kids handle the movie violence? Psychotherapist and USA Today advice columnist Stacy Kaiser has answers... If you have teenage or pre-teen kids, they’re probably buzzing about “The Hunger Games,” which hit theaters today. The much-hyped movie, based on a popular trilogy of young-adult books, is expected to be a box-office blockbuster. But the dark, occasionally violent film might also have an impact on the young people rushing to see it. Before you head to the multiplex with your kids, there are a few things you should know about “The Hunger Games.” The movie takes place in a post-apocalyptic future, and follows the story of Katniss (actress Jennifer Lawrence), a teenager who lives with her mother and sister. Every year, the government hosts tournaments called the Hunger Games – twisted brawls in which teens are drafted to fight to the death for the public’s entertainment. The winner, they’re told, is allowed to live forever. When Katniss’ sister is chosen to participate, the determined teen decides to compete in her place. At the heart of the books and film is a moral message about maintaining one’s humanity under the worst of conditions. But the imagery is brutal, and the film contains scenes of teens hurting and even killing one another. Given the movie violence, how old should your child be to see this movie? And how can parents make sure their kids leave the theater with the right message and aren’t unduly disturbed? For answers, we turned to psychotherapist Stacy Kaiser, M.F.T., a licensed marriage and family therapist and “Access Hollywood” relationships expert. Kaiser, who is also a USA Today advice columnist and author of How to Be a Grown Up (HarperOne), is the mother of two teenage girls. Read on for her advice... Pre-teens and teens have been anticipating this movie for months. What’s the big attraction? First, it’s the imagination-adventure combination [that kids enjoy]. Then, it’s the love story. But it’s also the hype. With young people, when all of their friends are reading a book and going to a movie, they get caught up in the frenzy. How old do you think a kid should be before seeing “The Hunger Games”? I wouldn’t take anyone under 10. And people under 13 should see it with their parents. This [movie shows] children killing children. You need to be able to explain to somebody younger, like 10 to 13, that this isn’t what people do – that it’s all imaginary. Whereas the older kids, teenagers 13 and up, begin to have an understanding that this isn’t real, that it’s [just] an adventure. How can a story like “The Hunger Games” affect children? It can mess with kids’ heads, because it shows an unrealistic level of competition. There’s a point where competition, even in real life, gets too bloody and messy. I try to teach kids that it’s important to be competitive with yourself and not compete with other people. But [the movie] sends a message that you have to be better [than your friends]. You have to be the strongest and best. Where does the movie violence of kids killing kids fit into that equation? In the book, and from what I’ve seen from the [movie’s] trailers, they do a good job of trying to show that this isn’t real life. But that’s where the conversation about reality and fantasy has to come into play. You don’t want to take kids who are going to think this is real, that you should go out into an arena and kill your friends. How can parents deal with children begging to see the movie because they don’t want to be left out? The first thing to do is assess the maturity of your child and his ability to handle a movie this intense. It could make kids agitated or give them nightmares, so making that [decision] is very important. Then, the parent has to be willing to go see the movie [with the child], to talk it through, explain things and answer questions. Not all parents want to do that, do they? No. I never blame movies or TV for kids being violent. There always [has] to be the parenting component. A good parent can take their child to see this movie and make it an entertaining, bonding experience. Do you think seeing the movie violence could be more disturbing to a child than reading the book? It much depends on the child. Reading the book makes you create things in your own mind, which can sometimes be more violent and beyond the intent of the author. For some children, that’s worse. For other children, [seeing] the visual of all those things happening [can be scarier]. That’s where really knowing your child is important. How do children process movie violence? It’s very much like adults. Some take it as what it is – a movie that they’re watching. They can separate and compartmentalize. Other children, also just like adults, get emotionally wrapped up in the experience. They have physical, psychological and emotional reactions to what they’re seeing on screen. Does the fact that the story pits teens against one another make the movie violence more difficult to handle? It can. There hasn’t been a movie like this [before], so we don’t really know what the consequences are going to be. That’s why it’s really important for parents to see it with their kids. What’s the healthiest way for parents to discuss “The Hunger Games” movie violence with their kids? You have to say in advance that this is a dark movie in which some good and bad things happen. Then you should have a conversation right after seeing it, and ask: What was your emotional reaction to it? Was there anything that you thought could really happen? Is there anything that upset or scared you that could give you nightmares? It’s important to help them get out what they’re feeling verbally, so they don’t have act out physically. Despite the darker plot lines, are there positive messages? There are some really great things. That’s part of what’s so appealing about this movie – it’s such an interesting combination. There’s a love story, a strong young woman and people fighting for what they believe in. Those are great messages. In the story, [Katniss, the main character] comes from a really traumatic, horrible family life, and yet she’s powerful. [It demonstrates that] you can come from a traumatic past and have a strong future. [The important thing] is to help kids filter the good messages from the negative. “The Hunger Games” is also meant as a commentary on certain aspects of our own culture, such as class differences and celebrity. Do you think kids will get that? I don’t think kids are aware of the parallel – you’d have to be a pretty sophisticated teenager, or read something in the media, to see that. They’re going to get wrapped up in the fantasy and adventure. That would be an adult’s role to point that out. What signs would indicate that your kid might be disturbed after seeing “The Hunger Games” movie violence? Watch for nightmares, and [whether] they seem agitated, or kick a wall or throw something. If they’re experiencing confusion and demonstrating aggressive behavior, or if they’re talking about [the story] a lot [and focusing on] the bad or scary stuff in it, [those are key signs]. You’re looking for changes in their behavior that they wouldn’t have after [seeing] a movie like “The Lorax,” for example. As adults, it’s important to understand that we have reactions to movies too. I can be made sad, agitated or happy – that’s part of why we go to the movies. [So it’s not surprising] that our children also have those reactions. After the movie “Fight Club” debuted, we saw young adults imitating the film by engaging in violent behaviors. Do you think there might be a similar response to “The Hunger Games”? That’s what I’m wondering – if kids [will be] setting up little arenas to have their own battles. [If so], it’s going to be really important for parents to talk about the fact that this is fantasy, not real life. Should parents stop this kind of play? Or just institute safety rules? I wouldn’t allow it. I don’t like to set up any scenario where people are play-fighting or fighting in any way. If they want to fight, sign them up for boxing or mixed martial arts classes. Would you allow your own children to see “The Hunger Games?” I have a 14-year-old and 16-year-old, and I’m taking them to the midnight [opening]. They loved the trilogy [of books], so they’re excited to see it. [This story] has spoken to them. And I’m excited to have a bonding experience by seeing it with them. So I’m not only speaking from a psychological point of view. I’m living it. You can follow Stacy Kaiser on her website or @thestacykaiser on Twitter. For more on health and Hollywood, visit our Celebrity Health Center .