Happily Married? It’s Good for Your Health

Happily coupled people stress less, have lower disease rates and enjoy other health perks. Find out why a loving union makes for a longer, fitter life... Along with china, kitchen gadgets and tax breaks, saying “I do” can also bring big health advantages. “Across every major category of illness and mortality, married people fare better than the unmarried – not just in the U.S., but internationally,” says Joseph Hullett, M.D., of OptumHealth Behavioral Solutions in San Juan Capistrano, Calif. Besides a possible boost in your standard of living, a joint household can mean less financial stress and greater odds of having health insurance. Money aside, marriage comes with a priceless gift: better health, according to a wide variety of studies. But just having the license isn’t enough; it’s the quality of the relationship that’s key. Women in troubled marriages suffer greater health problems than singles do. Here's how tying knot delivers more than monogrammed towels. You live a healthier lifestyle When women find mates, they spend less time at the late-night bar scene with a martini and cigarette. Compared to singles, married people are less likely to smoke, drink heavily or use illegal drugs, according to studies compiled by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC). Plus, monogamy reduces the risk of sexually transmitted infections, since you won’t be going home with a guy you just met. You’re also less likely to participate in risky activities. “Married people tend to think twice before going bungee-jumping or sky-diving,” says Jay Kent-Ferraro, Ph.D., a psychologist in Tulsa, Okla. Mate-less people are more unstructured: “They don’t eat as well or go to bed at the same time [each day],” says Jennifer Freed, Ph.D., a marriage and family therapist in Santa Barbara, Calif. “All those have been proven to be calming to the [body].” But there’s a downside to marriage’s stability: weight gain. Happily attached people are three times as likely to be obese as dating couples, according to a 2009 University of North Carolina study. It’s because they’re spending more time watching TV and less working out, according to a 2010 Greek study that followed 17,000 couples. Still, committed partnership gives you a diet advantage. When you make a pact with your husband to slim down together, “you’ll be more successful than if you try to do it alone,” Freed notes. Someone has your back Having a spouse means there’s someone to remind you to take vitamins or get a mammogram. He’s also an extra set of eyes to notice your health changes. “Your partner sees things you may not see,” Freed says. “I knew a woman who had been having mysterious chest pains, and her husband said, ‘Let’s go check this out.’ ” Sure enough, one of her heart valves needed repair. Wedded people also spend less time in hospitals. “If a married patient has a complicated medicine regime, the partner can help handle it,” says psychiatrist Scott Haltzman, M.D., author of The Secrets of Happily Married Women (Jossey-Bass). Your partner may even help you recover from a life-threatening illness, he says. “Your ability to recover is tied to the idea that you’ve got a meaningful connection to another human being.” Indeed, a nine-year Japanese study of more than 94,000 people, published in 2007, found that a married woman’s risk of dying from any cause is half that of a single. Marriage even lowers crime risk. Coupled or married women are 3-4 times less likely to be crime victims than single, separated or divorced females, according to the National Archive of Criminal Justice Data’s Crime Victimization Survey. Having a partner shields them from dangerous experiences and situations, Haltzman says. You have less stress Chronic stress can lead to or exacerbate just about every kind of health problem, including heart disease, stroke and cancer. Stress raises blood pressure, disrupts sleep, impairs immune function and raises the risk of obesity. Plus, stressed people often fall back on bad coping mechanisms such as smoking, drinking, overeating and using drugs, which further erode health, notes Elizabeth Lombardo, Ph.D., a psychologist and public speaker on stress control. “We’re also less likely to exercise when we feel down or distressed,” she says. Having a partner to talk and laugh with – and lean on – eases burdens. In a 2007 study of 400 nurses, British researchers found that those in long-term relationships were far less affected by job stresses than singles. A woman needs to be listened to, Freed says. “In a healthy marriage, you have a regular listening partner who knows you well enough to understand your concerns,” he says. “Having somebody to check in with and talk through stressful issues has been proven to be very helpful.” A study from the University of the West of Scotland also revealed that people who had sex at least once in two weeks were better able to manage stressful situations. But there’s a catch... Marriage only buffers stress if your union is fairly happy. Unhappy relationships with a lot of conflict and hostility hurt health. That’s especially true for women, because the physical effects of tension – elevated stress-related hormones, higher blood pressure, faster heart rate and depressed immune function – linger longer in females than in men. The effects aren’t minor. In a 2009 University of Manitoba (Canada) study, depression rates were nearly three times higher among unhappily married women as those who were blissfully wed. Marital discord has a physical toll too. A 2000 University of Texas study found that people at risk for diabetes were twice as likely to develop the chronic disease in stressful marriages. And several Ohio State University studies showed that couples who don’t fight fairly – for example, they’re disrespectful, mean-spirited or call each other names – have lower immune function, slower recuperations from surgery and delayed wound healing, making them more vulnerable to illness. Every couple fights, but when there’s respect – and less negativity, rudeness and condescension during an argument – “you have better immune function,” Lombardo says. A stressful marriage also increases risk for cardiovascular diseases. In a 2010 Brigham Young University study, unhappily married couples had higher blood pressure than the unwed. Couples in marital bliss had lower readings than singles. When researchers at San Diego State and University of California, San Diego, examined 400 participants in a long-term women's health study, they found that unhappily married women developed more arterial plaque than happily married females, and more heart-disease factors than singles: lower levels of HDL (“good”) cholesterol and higher LDL (“bad”) cholesterol, as well as higher blood pressure, glucose and insulin levels. One reason is the chronic stress in their lives. Even more broken-heart evidence: Unhappily coupled women who had had one heart attack had three times the risk for another within five years, according to a 2000 Swedish study. But divorce isn’t the path to better health. In a 2009 University of Chicago study, people who’d lost their spouse to death or divorce had more chronic health problems on average than married or single people. So although marriage can be very healthy for women, choose your partner carefully and put a lot of effort into making it work.